Fear: we all got one
by Ivory Hazlewood
Summary: "I see different fears of my different classmates out of which a lot are dead family or classmates which do not shock me once because of the times we are living in. Every day every person wakes with the fear of losing someone they love" Marauders dealing with boggarts in a class bring a certain marauder and his crush together. Jilly


SIRIUS'S POV

It was the first day of our not so awaited Defence against the Dark Arts class. Today the professor whose name I don't remember decided to make us come face to face with a real life boggart, why? Because he found one just lying around and suddenly this stupid idea to take it in front of the 7th years propped up in his mind, I mean what kind of a teacher wants to see what his students' greatest fears are? Well I would have liked to see that if I were a professor but that's not what the point is. The point is that this is STUPID.

"Sirius" I am snapped out of the chain of my thoughts as James calls my name "Earth to Sirius, can you hear me" he says waving his hands in front of my eyes.

"Yeah just thinking" I say itching the back of my head

"You think?" It was Remus this time and his words make me smile a little.

"Oh dear moony, I thought you were smart but you don't even know that humans think? What a shame" I say teasing him while he just rolls his eyes and reminds us that we were getting late for the class. We descend for the next lesson which not so surprisingly enough is DADA (hope you know what it stands for).

"Ok so what will your Boggart be?" James asks me as we reach the classroom.

"I don't know" I reply casually and its true, I have no idea what my boggart is going to be.

"Well moony?" he says

"Nope, no idea" Remus reply's

"Wormtail" James now asks peter

"No" is his instant reply as if he already anticipated the question coming to him

"Yeah ok and I don't know my either if one of you were planning to ask" James says to which we just nod and then focus our attention to the professor who starts to explain about boggarts and ways to tackle and how in these times of danger we need to be ready to fight any problem that comes our way. Then we repeat the spell after him and then are asked to form a line to come one by one and fight the boggarts ourselves.

I see different fears of my different classmates out of which a lot are dead family or classmates which do not shock me once because of the times we are living in. Every day every person wakes with the fear of losing someone they love and it's a really difficult time during breakfast when the owls arrive with news of family. Just recently Lily Evans was given the news of her parents' death, she was broken and James was not able to see her so sad and was bickering about how he wants to make her happy and stuff. Even I was hit with shock when the news of Mr and Mrs Potter's death arrived, James was broken and those were the toughest days of my life seeing as how much the Potters had done for me, I could not bear seeing them dead.

My chain of thoughts breaks when I look at the boggart of Marlene Mckinnon. It is the scariest thing I had seen today, it is the reflection of what we all fear, there is blood, bodies, destruction everywhere. I can see dead bodied of Lily, of Alice, of every person I know including me , there are intake of deep breadths by students before Marlene raises her wand forward, her face strained with tears and expressionless. She blankly mutters the spell and changes all that into flowers, pretty ones infact they are of every color but no one feels good, not even one person smiles, her boggart was what all of us fear every moment, it was war, the war we all know is unfolding, the war that we all fear everyday, every moment of our boggart raises a new respect in my mind for the girl i just new as Lily Evans' friend, i realize she is more that for she fears not for herself but others, even the ones who are not close to her and a sudden realization drowns on me is that none of the bodies we see belong toher... she is not afraid to die but afraid for the people to die for her. Lily moves forward followed by Alice and they hug her taking her with them to the back of the class.

The next boggarts are scary but not as much as Marlene's. Lily comes and vanishes the figure of a blonde girl shouting on her telling her it was all her fault and how she will also be responsible for the deaths of any person who dares to love her. I can see the pain in her eyes it is what i had seen when her parents had died... she was broken but still managed to vanish the boggart, i could not understand the meaning of the thing but i knew it was more than just a blonde girl blaming her for i know Lily Evans better. Alice's boggart is a death eater and by the look on her face I guess he caused her some kind of internal pain, a pain that makes her see the particular dark eyed, blonde death eater. I could not recognize him but i know Alice did and she is sad but tries her best to erupt a laughter in this horribly dull class. She makes him wear weird clothes and there and little laughs but they fade away very fast.

By the time it comes to t he marauders more than half of the class is finished. Peter goes first and his boggart takes the form of Voldemort himself which causes a lot of deep breaths and screams and the professor himself steps forward and vanishes the figure much to everyone's relief.

When it is Remus' turn he is very uncertain of himself and doesn't even goes in front until we give him a little encouragement. But his boggart shuts our mouth and all the encouragements die even before coming out of our mouth. His boggart is the corpses of James, Peter and Me and the scars that we have are not normal ones. While most don't understand the meaning of this we all know what it means, he is afraid to kill us himself for the scars are the ones which are caused due to werewolf bite. Though he vanishes the bodies, his pain seems to not have vanished. James and I help him to the back of the class telling him it would never happen, never will he kill us, he can never kill us and how strong we are, how we will fight him. We whisper all this and never mention the word werewolf for we knew the threat of eavesdroppers. I feel this anger at the professor i don't know the name of... what is merlin is that git thinking? Why doesn't he stop? could he not see the pain it was causing us? bet he is enjoying it, bunch of 17 year old scared students. What a STUPID idea to have boggarts in class.

When it's my turn, I don't get even a little bit scared. I know it's not something like Marlene's and that makes me feel good. I am ready to face anything that the boggart becomes. My boggart is the form of myself, my eyes red and angry, and my arm has the dark mark and I wear the cloak of the death eaters. My heart does skip a beat when I see the boggart, this is my fear. To become what my family wants of me, to become what I have been running from my entire life. My greatest fear is not becoming a death eater, it is becoming a traitor, becoming something I have been running from my entire life. I quickly mutter the spell and tell James that I was okay when he came close and I know I was ok because what I saw would never happen. All the other boggarts were possibilities which the students could not control but this was in my control and I won't let that become reality. I slowly just turn and move towards the end joining Remus and Peter who just give me a smile.

When its James' turn his boggart is something we all knew and it was exactly what we thought and his expression tells me he knew it to. It was my corpse which quickly changed to Remus and then Peter, James raises his wand to mutter the spell but stops midway as the boggart changes its form and becomes the corpse of a girl, a redhead oh no its Lily lily, she is dead lifeless just like I was, remus was, peter was but this is something we didn't even think about. Did he really love her? I mean I know he was obsessed with her and I knew he loved her somewhere but I didn't think it was going to be his boggart but as I think of it now, it does not seem unlikely in-fact I think it was one of the most likely shapes his boggart was supposed to take. My eyes widen and immediately turn my head towards Lily who looks like her eyebrows have gone in her hair and her green are open so wide that a fly could go in and that seems to be the reaction of almost the whole class but before anyone could say anything, James changes the corpse to flying birds and goes at an isolated corner of the class.

LILY'S POV

As I look at Potter's boggart, I feel something in the pit of my stomach. I know half of the class is looking my way but I don't care, Potter- James' boggart took my form? I mean no one was shocked when it was his friends but me? Does he really like me to that extent, did whatever he used to tell me true?

He turns the boggart to birds flying everywhere and when I look at him our eyes meet and I feel that something in the pit of my stomach I feel a lot these days whenever I look towards him and for a second we just stay there and then he turns away. I see Sirius going towards the isolated corner where James was standing and he just stands beside him, not speaking.

When the bell rings James quickly goes out of the class without a second lost and I feel this sudden need to follow him, I see Sirius, Remus and Peter trying to go after him but stop as they see me going the same way. All the classes for the day have finished so it is difficult for me to make out where James is going to be but I don't need to give it a thought as I see him sitting on the floor, his back resting on the corner of the wall. If I wouldn't have followed, I wouldn't have been able to see him because of his position and the way it hides him.

"James" I say as I move towards him

"I'm sorry" he says, not even looking at me

"Why, because you are afraid of my death?" I ask setting myself besides him on the floor.

"No, cause I humiliated you in front of the entire class" he says plainly and I feel a little angry, humiliated me? "I know you don't like to be the centre of attention"

"A little attention never really feels bad, you know" I say in an attempt to lighten his mood

"I-I didn't know It were gonna be you" he says covering his face with his hands "I knew it were gonna be my friends now that my parents are gone but- I'm sorry"

"I don't understand why you are apologising to me" I say taking his hand off his face "I mean that was a little weird but…."

"I thought you'd be angry" he says looking into my eyes and I only laugh in return

"What kind of a girl do you think I am huh?" I ask laughing "going around getting angry on everything?"

"No, I mean- you know…. you are very very unpredictable" he says itching the back of his head, smiling

"and you say you know me" I say looking forward for I cannot look at him when I say this but I have to say "you know when petunia, my sister, the girl in my boggart was saying how I would get all the people I love killed, I was thinking about Marlene, Alice of-course but I was also thinking about you and all the marauders for the fact but you the most. I could see you all dying because you support me, a Muggle-born and I couldn't see you die James" I do not look at him even once when I say all this.

"Are you implying that you…." He says suddenly trying to meet my eyes

"In times like these I think… we should not hold back anything" I say as I meet his hazel eyes and in that moment realize how dominant exactly the green portion is in his eyes, he dosen't understand what I say and I can see the confusion in his deep hazel eyes and I just move forward and press my lips up against his. At first he is too shocked to do anything and just as I am about to realise he grabs hold of me and kisses me fiercely and I know I did the right thing, I know I love him and how finally I just gave in the charms of the infamous James Potter.

"You have no idea how long I have waited for this" he says as he breaks the kiss to look me in the eyes

"I can guess" I reply as I kiss him again forgetting the problems, the worries I had, forgetting for some time all the fear that had held me because I know there is a war but I also know that I have people around me to help me through it. I have him and that's all I want for now.

NARRATOR'POV

While they blissfully kiss and are lost in their own world no-one notices the hiding figure of one Sirius Black looking at them with a satisfactory expression on his face.

And as he makes his way towards dinner, Sirius Black thinks that maybe, maybe it wasn't as much a stupid idea to have boggarts in class.


End file.
